LETTER TO HILATH: Blogging seems redundant now

Dear friend,

Being an avid follower of your blog at the height of the era of the Maldivian Blogosphere, I still follow your blogging, and I now find that a lot of things have changed in your psychology.

On hindsight, I think it was redundant for us to start blogging even as far back as the year 2000 when I first obtained Internet access, more or less the same time you went online. Like you, I had wrongly assumed that individuals like us needed to bring about information that were already out there and any Maldivian with Internet can access those information whether they are undergoing mental illness such as depression, or Bipolar Disorder like you.

While mainstream media provides information through journalistic articles with their access to official sources of information, social media provides information from firsthand accounts by individuals through their social media platforms. So, all in all, I think even then and now Maldivians have enough information to carry on with their lives.

Because of this, I don't think there is any role for us anymore in the form of providing solidarity to anyone out there who is mentally disturbed, except advise them to seek professional therapy for all kinds of mental illnesses they might have. In fact, as I am not a qualified professional therapist, it is unethical and immoral if I try to console them by providing advice when what they obviously need is psychiatric help. I don't have a right to play the role of a shrink when a friend of mine is facing some psychological crisis. I have a friend who plays this disconcerting role of a councellor whenever one of his friends goes through nervous breakdowns although I have pointed out to him that that's unethical and his moral duty would be to suggest the psychologically suffering person to seek professional medical assistance because he is not professionally qualified to assume such a role, however good his intentions are.

However late it took me to realize that I don't actually need to discuss my personal life and its problems in public, because my problems are not unique and anyone with Internet access can obtain the specific information they need for their health, I now realize that my blogging is redundant, and that I should have realized that way back in 2000. Perhaps I was under the delusion that I had a role in society because Maldivians with mental illness do approach me even now claiming that my personal revelations made them realize they were not the only ones suffering from such conditions and that therefore I provided a kind of relief for their lives. Perhaps this attitude persists because mental illness is still a taboo subject as our society is too fast to judge a person as "mad" and "insane" if they come to know if this and that person is suffering from some sort of mental illness. So perhaps they can be excused if they discreetly share with me in secret the nature of their mental problems in the hope that I can send them in the right direction. But I prefer that they don't entertain such a mindset. Perhaps it's this "people need people" thinking which results in them to find some kind of solidarity with me. Still, I believe they don't need me to provide comfort and that they should overcome their fears and seek psychiatric assistance because obviously I am in no position to help them and in recent times if someone contact me about their personal troubles I do tell them to seek professional medical help.

As to whether blogging is a useful psychological exercise now for me or not, I have seriously considered your relative's decision to go hermit. I suddenly realized yesterday that it appealed to me, especially when I realized that I was "following" a lot of friends' and relatives' social media platforms' feeds which let me know at least, on a superficial level, what are going through their minds. I then realized that have nothing to do with my personal life and therefore I can live without updating myself on all that stuff about their lives. So I guess hereafter I will not make any major effort to go through the trouble of updating my social media platforms every day, nor follow what is happening, for example, in the life of a friend from the time it takes him to wake up to the time he takes to brush his teeth. Suddenly I realized the ridiculousness of following all of this information. But better I had realized all this sooner rather than later. One important thing I realized was that this compulsive checking of the social media platforms of others for updates were distracting me from giving my precious time to more important things like reciting the Quran. Like you, my top priority now is also reciting the Quran while going through its translation.

Still I have decided to post things occasionally for the benefit of my family, friends, and followers, because when I discussed with them about my feeling that I find social media being intrusive, irrelevant, and disruptive to my private life, they are still concerned that I should not become a hermit like your relative. So my new policy is not about me becoming a hermit because I will be updating my social media platforms but only occasionally. This is going to be my way of not occupying my life 24/7 "updating" my mind about all that is happening around me which does not have a direct impact on my personal life. If you should know, I haven't read any Maldivian news websites for more than three weeks now, and I find I am not missing anything important to my private life. 

My decision to cut down the time I spend on Maldives' mainstream media and social media is based on my understanding that those who want to know about the kind of information they like, they will search for it themselves: for example, it was through your blog that I discovered that Irish singer Sinead O'Connor was dead. And earlier before that, it was you who brought my attention to Linkin Park lead vocalist Chester Bennington's suicide - years after that happened which made me realize I can survive without all kinds of information.

So I have decided to ignore information that may be interesting but doesn't have an impact on my personal life. Some might argue that if I became ignorant of the developments and progress that were taking place in the sciences and the humanities, that will be detrimental to my living. Some of my friends even go to the extent of trying to convince me that the political, economic, social, and cultural future of my country the Maldives is relevant to my personal life. But why should I harbor any delusions that, like you said, my vote for the "lesser evil" candidate will make any difference in the presidential election of September 9 and bring about the kind of progress that Maldivians are now hoping and dreaming about?

Think again: I survived an era when there were no telephones, no refrigerators, no washing machines, and no televisions at my home. The only information, or let's specifically say "Maumoon propaganda", was available on radio from Voice of Maldives or the few newspapers and magazines that were in print at the time belonging to close friends of his. But I still managed to survive without getting brainwashed by all his lies to Maldivian citizens.

So after deeply thinking about all this, I realized that I can survive without the information overload that is overwhelming our lives ever since communications technologies took over every aspect of our living. Still I will sporadically post something on my social media platforms to let people, who are still concerned about me, know that I am not dead yet.

If you think this decision would make me start feeling alienation and isolation, think about this: I used to have more than a 1,000 "Friends" on my Facebook but now, out of them, I try to keep in touch with only a handful of people and still I don't find I am missing much in life. I don't feel lonely at all because there are so many other ways to enjoy life rather than going to coffees and chat about useless stuff such as politics.

It's not people's fault actually that they harbor dreams like marrying and getting children and advancing in their careers, etc. It's all to do with biology and the biochemical processes that drive human mindsets and behaviors. People will hate me for pointing this out because it will surely dent the rosy place they have built their life into. And anyway, it's pointless shooting the messenger because that will not change the message whatsoever. 

My decision to ignore most of my "friends" is because I don't want to intrude into their personal lives by demanding them to give their time and attention to me. And just to give a few examples, there are so-called friends who have practically "forgotten" that they initiated conversations telling me they want to meet me but seems to have forgotten all about that for a long time. There was one friend who is so busy he hasn't yet met me for that coffee he said he would like to have way back in 2017. My problem seems that I don't forget, though I would like to, and move on with my life rather than keep wondering whether he is alive or not. This also goes for friends who take several days just to respond to a simple Yes or No question. Or those who stood me up and then inform me they were distracted or occupied for whole days due to a certain problem but not offering me any dates for a new meeting. It doesn't seem to occur to them that I would be waiting for them to set a new date and inform me while not doing so results in me being on a sort of on-call, waiting for them to kick the ball into my court. And even then they would just text me that I am in their prayers and sends me hugs and wants to borrow my positive energy while at the same time having the nerve to remind me they respect my time and then for the next few days forget to inform me when they will next set the date for our meeting. I am not interested in getting involved in this type of New Age pseudo sciences and it is best they leave me out of it. Since these kind of incidents are frequent, I now don't give a rat's ass and don't wait for them to get back to me. Hence, communications technologies can go to Hell for all I care.

When I think about it deeply, it's not those friends' fault actually. They have their personal stuff to take care of which is not as important as keeping updated whether I am alive or not. Maybe their attitude is the same as my carelessness in keeping updated what happens in the lives of my favorite celebrities such as Chester. Let's not even mention that me being a student of History familiar with South Asia politics only recently came to know that Arif-ur-Rehman Alvi is currently serving as the 13th President of Pakistan - in office since 9 September 2018. How "worse" could be my ignorance of news, haha!

Therefore, I now give attention to keeping in touch with friends who have grown-up children and therefore can set aside times to have fun like in our school days.

As to whether "people need people", they would know what they want. I only know what I want. From what little science has discovered, it seems that all our behaviors are the results of biochemical processes that take place inside our body, whether that also includes love and happiness. Seems Nature has been deluding us all the time and that now only, with progress in science, we are now realizing that everything about our lives are dependent on the biochemistry processes in our bodies and brains.

One of my Maldivian friends does believe that "people need people" and I am not bothered why ever since I came to know how biochemical processes dictate all aspects of our lives. Perhaps I should not be surprised that I have a Sri Lankan friend who told me he needs someone to hug him everytime he wakes up in the morning. Good for him, I guess, though it didn't result in any psychological stress for him in deciding to dump the girlfriend of his who was with him for more than a decade. Yeah, that's right, even affections have a shelf life or expiry date. So this Natural phenomenon of how humans are social creatures may be an interesting thing to explore in order to find out about the perplexing behavior of humans living in communities which they claim are necessary for their mental survival.

So, despite the fact that some people dismiss the fact that the mindset and behavior of humans are dependent on biochemical processes, here's the information on that topic "people need people" I sourced from ChatGPT, which strangely didn't take the biochemical factors into account, and therefore is a good joke for a laugh anyway:

People need people for various reasons, and the importance of social connections is deeply ingrained in human nature. Here are some key reasons why people need people:

Emotional support: Human beings are emotional creatures, and having social connections allows us to share our feelings, thoughts, and experiences with others. It provides a sense of comfort and understanding, especially during challenging times, helping individuals cope with stress and emotional burdens.

Sense of belonging: Being part of a social group or community gives individuals a sense of belonging and identity. It provides them with a framework to define themselves and helps them understand where they fit into the larger society.

Mental well-being: Social interactions play a significant role in maintaining mental health. Loneliness and social isolation can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. On the other hand, positive social connections can promote feelings of happiness and fulfillment.

Physical health: Studies have shown that social interactions can have positive effects on physical health. Engaging in social activities can reduce the risk of certain health conditions, such as cardiovascular disease, and can lead to a longer and healthier life.

Learning and growth: Interacting with others allows us to learn from different perspectives and experiences. Through social interactions, people exchange knowledge, ideas, and skills, contributing to personal growth and development.

Collaboration and teamwork: Many tasks and goals in life require collaboration and teamwork. Social connections enable individuals to work together, combine their strengths, and achieve common objectives more effectively.

Support in times of need: Life is full of ups and downs, and having a support system in place can make a significant difference during challenging times. Friends, family, or other social connections can offer help, advice, or a listening ear when needed.

Celebration and joy: Sharing joyous moments and celebrations with others enhances the overall experience. Social connections give people opportunities to celebrate achievements, milestones, and happy occasions together.

Sense of purpose: Being connected to others can give individuals a sense of purpose and fulfillment, as they often find meaning in helping and supporting those around them.

Overall, human beings are social creatures, and social interactions play a vital role in shaping our well-being, identity, and overall quality of life. The need for people arises from our inherent nature as social beings, and fostering positive relationships can have profound and positive effects on our lives.

Yours sincerely,

XX