The irony of being human

If you sent a message to someone which demands only a simple "yes" or "no" answer but takes him or her three days to respond to you, that's a red flag. He or she could have sent a short phrase saying that he or she is busy and will get back to you later but didn't although he or she has the latest iPhone bought by taking a loan from somewhere although that's not a healthy thing. 

If someone tells you he or she would meet you during the week but calls you a few months later and tells you that he or she was simply busy or caught up in things, that's another red flag. 

The truth is people will find the time, energy, and even money to do the things they consider important to them. Like borrowing a loan to fund the latest iPhone. So in such cases, whether you get emotionally hurt, it's best you remove yourself from their lives. 

Even if it was a decades long friendship, it doesn't matter anymore, as he or she has grown out of the friendship and has moved on: he or she doesn't consider you as part of his or her inner circle now. You can find them at a Lemongrass outlet almost every evening with his or her other friends but wouldn't have bothered to get in touch with you for several months to have that promised round of coffee with you.

And if you have a heavy social media presence, it's time you "block" and "remove" and "unfollow" yourself from their lives like I am now doing for the better part of this year. 

But there's another side to this as well: all those people psychologically suffering and all those people caught up in their personal lives like dealing with their families.

Humans are individuals and at the same time social beings. They appear to divide their time performing these dual roles: if they spend time alone, they long for company, and if they spend time in a social setting they seem to seek alone time. Their life cycle seems to follow this pattern.

Over the years I have drifted away from a lot of people because they seem conflicted internally: they don't want others to know deeply about what ticks them although they don't hesitate to pass judgement on others.

In fact, some people who advocate empathy and say that we should not judge others seem  interested in psychoanalyzing others and while they advocate for not judging others, they seem unconscious that they do in fact practise it.

I have drifted away from such people. It was depressing to my mind. On September 11, I will turn 49. Having lived almost a half century, I now find that peace of mind is the most important thing. I don't want to get involved in the "koosani" nature of people whether they are Maldivians or others. I now remove myself from situations and people that emanate negative vibes. 

Over the course of these past five months, I have distanced myself from a lot of people including some I considered close and trusted friends. 

I will quote again what I have written on the right hand column of this blog about this matter:

QUOTE

Something to think about...

Everyone is psychologically damaged goods. We notice only those who have it worse. If you feel someone mistreats you, forgive them and move on. Let them cope with their inner demons the way they think and feel is right for them. The universe is a singular place and everything in it is its interconnected cosmic components - including us. So ultimately there's nothing to worry about unless a troubled soul seeks help in a way that doesn't drown you both.

UNQUOTE

So I now tolerate only those who don't depress me. I welcome in my life things that don't cause anxiety. While I would like to help other people in their fight against their psychological demons, there is nothing I can really do about it, because I am not a professional medical authority. People who are mentally disturbed can only be treated by psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, etc. Yes, by professionally trained medical personnel. 

But it's sad that some people still don't seek professional help because there's still some remaining remnants of stigma associated with mental illness. The minute someone knows you had been to consult a counselor, they would perceive you to be mad or insane! 

Yet, the statistics are heart-warming. When former president Ibrahim Mohamed Solih made a 100-day election promise and opened a centre for mental illness at the Indian gifted state hospital Indira Gandhi Memorial Hospital, there were only about 2,000 registered "patients" who sought psychiatric help. I am now told that there are around 8,000 in just a few years! It's not that psychologically disturbed folks have increased in number; rather, it's because Maldivians have become enlightened by the awareness campaigns conducted by President Solih's wife former first lady Fazna Ahmed and many others that mental illness is a real ailment. 

I am forever grateful for them and for everyone who has helped me in my own tragic path towards mental recovery after ten years of substance abuse in the early 2000s when I thought that I needed substances such as tobacco and marijuana in order to overcome my own psychological baggage. I am eternally grateful to Allah (God) that I thought of seeking medication for my Bipolar Disorder condition with its symptoms of anxiety, depression, panic attacks, mood swings, etc. Painkillers and narcotics such as heroin (brown sugar) are definitely not the way to deal with mental illness, I can assure everyone through my personal experience.