Flirting With Marriage

By A Woman

(In response to the blogpost titled "Letter to Hilath: Is Keanu's 'loneliness' a problem?")

It is hard to describe the intimate details of a marriage without breaching the unwritten but understood rules of confidentiality that exist in it. Any details will always evoke a lot of criticism because it will be tempting for others to point out what is wrong with it.

In a marriage, it is a blessing to see the flaws and shortcomings in one another and have the strength to accept them instead of comparing them to others. If one cannot change some trivial aspect in the other person there is the choice to ignore it or accept it. Slinging matches aren't needed on whose fault it was about something that went wrong because, at different times a different person gets to be right.

It is easy for anyone to be just stubborn or lazy and give up on trying to solve problems and opt for a way out because of a preconceived notion of how a marriage should be or how emotions should define certain actions in a marriage or having thoughts that there is a much greener pasture up ahead.

If we become free of all the faulty knowledge that led us to believe how a certain thing should be, we may be able to actually make difficult situations work. If we don't let our egos come in the way of sustaining a relationship we can eventually choose to continue a relationship calmly and rationally.

Not trying to change the other person and not being dominant is important, as well as giving personal space and not smothering the other person's life. 

Even in a marriage we can still live very different lives that gives us a sense of freedom and not feel too bound by each other. Not having a typical love marriage in a way makes marriage easier and peaceful and less complicated.

Not having heartbreaking emotions gives a different perspective to a lot of things. When there is more of an element of friendship in a marriage, a kind of distance exists creating an unforeseen atmosphere to discuss numerous issues, tease each other and make jokes that lighten the seriousness.

The distance that exists also creates a sort of respect towards each other and hinders exchanging certain types of words in arguments, while the same distance gives a marriage sudden bursts of instinctive and novel romance.

The half sensation of living with a stranger unexpectedly builds intrigue, adds unpredictability and prevents a marriage getting mundane.

However, going through the ups and downs of life, fleeting desires based on the world's portrayals and ideals of love can sometimes catch up unawares and stir up melancholy moods.

With lack of emotion in a marriage, there is no clinginess or fear of losing to somebody else. There is only caring but also a vague feeling that someday there might come a goodbye for any kind of unforeseen reason.

Caring also means setting them free to have what they want. Problems occur when some can't seem to know when to let go, or refuse to believe what the other person needs and accept to give it.

Irrelevant people's views and advice often damage and intrude on relationships because some views or solutions don't fit or cannot be actually applied to some people.

While there cannot be a formula for the perfect marriage, there is one vital thing a marriage or any action in life needs because there will always be the endless chatter of the world trying to shape and interfere with our lives. The chatter can be made insignificant or coherent only when we turn to our Saviour and the foremost Being that we should look up to in life.

The world can conjure so many alternatives to everything and even prove so many theories to be correct, but only He can direct us to what will really work and make us prosper in our life because, in the end, everyone will have their very own different story with God. Sometimes we have to be on a path we don't like to see whether it holds something great.

We will always be imperfect beings who will keep on making mistakes. To find the good that happened among or because of those mistakes, we have to involve God, who is the true companion, in our journey. To see if a match is really made in heaven we have to keep our trust in the Creator of heaven.