At least I can privately pray for those who we have lost...

I am not ignorant of some Maldivians' continued negative perceptions about me due to my controversial past.

The past is the past and there is nothing I can do about it to change it.

Despite my return to Sunni Islam, there are some people, including those who I now consider as ex-friends, who perceive that I am still the old me from ten years ago who blogged about taboo subjects of Maldives.

“Hilath is a dodgy person,” is a comment someone recently made to one of my clients. She said she didn’t ask that person to explain that statement and that the person also didn’t elaborate. She nevertheless decided to retain my service on a freelance writing project.

So I do avoid meeting people who I am not sure have changed their minds about me. I now go on outings with people who have assured me that they don't harbor any negative feelings about me.

So now I don't associate myself with people who may be uncomfortable about me. Thus, I don't attend even funerals and weddings depending on my perception that they may be uncomfortable about my presence.

Some people are silent and hold their discomfort inside while others are quite vocal in denouncing me, saying that they don't believe I have changed, and that they don't believe I was stupid about my blogging on sensitive subjects, and that they believe I am intelligent and therefore intentionally carried out blogging maliciously about the subjects they hold dear. In fact, one day when I visited the newsroom of a newspaper where some Maldivian journalists are still friendly towards me, there was one writer who openly said in the presence of the other writers that I should not be allowed to step into their newsroom because it will cause the "baraka" of Allah wiped out from that newsroom.

Over the past decade, many people close to me have died but I attended the funeral of only one because she was a relative and my family has accepted my return to Sunni Islam.

When I see my mutual friends post obituaries on their social media platforms, I feel extremely saddened that I can't because I don't want the dead friends’ relatives and friends and colleagues falsely assuming I had inappropriate relationships with those dead friends. So however frustrated I am, I hold my feelings and emotions inside, although it is not easy not to express grief for the deaths of my friends.

Some friends do understand and appreciate why I restrain myself from publicly expressing my grief, for the sake of protecting my dead friends’ reputations, because some people might misunderstand the nature of my otherwise platonic relationships with those deceased.

However, I draw comfort from the fact that within the confines of my room I can and pray for them - for Allah to forgive their sins, and grant them Jannah, and to give strength for their loved ones to deal with such a great loss.

And another thing I do is ask people who go on Hajj or Umrah to pray for the dearly departed. It's because prayers said from Islam's Holy City Mecca are believed to hold special significance and more likely by Allah to be accepted. During this year's Hajj too I have a friend who is in Saudi Arabia and have told me she will pray for my significant ones and I am sincerely and deeply grateful to her. May she have a Mabroor Hajj, Aameen.

I thought I will share with my readers the information I collected through ChatGPT on the special significance of prayers made during Hajj from the Holy City.

Below is the information I gathered:

Dua, or supplication, is a fundamental aspect of Islamic worship and is highly regarded by Muslims around the world. While dua can be made from anywhere, there is a special significance attached to dua made from Mecca, the holiest city in Islam.

Mecca holds immense religious importance as the birthplace of the Prophet Muhammad and the site of the Kaaba, the sacred shrine toward which Muslims around the world face during their prayers. Muslims believe that the Kaaba is the House of Allah and that it is the most sacred place on Earth.

When Muslims perform the pilgrimage known as Hajj or the lesser pilgrimage called Umrah, they visit Mecca and are encouraged to make dua while being in the proximity of the Kaaba. It is believed that dua made from this sacred location carries a special spiritual weight and is more likely to be accepted.

Muslims also believe that the prayers and supplications made within the confines of the Grand Mosque in Mecca, which houses the Kaaba, hold a higher level of sanctity and are more likely to be answered by Allah. This belief stems from the hadith (sayings of the Prophet Muhammad) that emphasize the significance of supplicating in the vicinity of the Kaaba.

Additionally, the act of making dua in Mecca is often seen as an expression of humility, devotion, and submission to Allah. The experience of being in the presence of the Kaaba and surrounded by millions of fellow Muslims from diverse backgrounds fosters a sense of unity and spirituality, further enhancing the significance of dua made in this holy city.

It's important to note that while dua made in Mecca is considered special, Muslims believe that Allah is all-knowing and can hear and respond to prayers from any location. The significance of dua from Mecca lies in the unique spiritual atmosphere and the reverence associated with the holy city.