For various reasons, I still remain personally unconvinced that I am good in English language and literature. I got a 'B' pass in English Literature in my A Levels and a 'C' pass in English Language in CPE both times I sat for the latter exams.
Despite my embarking on a journalism and blogging career since 1995 and 2000 respectively, I still don't feel I am a good writer although my readers and blog followers tell me they consider me at least a competent writer.
Hence, I am left to wonder why I lack the smarts for truly understanding English language and literature. For instance, I am hopeless when it comes to understanding poetry, which doesn't make sense to me at all, despite having read all the works of William Shakespeare and Thomas Hardy.
I am also clueless when it comes to grasping the meaning of lengthy archaic prose such as used by Jane Austen in her book "Pride and Prejudice" although I thoroughly enjoyed its movie version.
Why I am suddenly talking about this now is because I have started blogging again after a 7-year break, and I am being reminded again that I have never considered myself a good writer.
The best word to describe my blogposts may be "rambling" because that's what I actually do when it comes to expressing my views about topics and subjects that I am passionate about.
And quite out of the blue today, I have been discussing with my friends my belief that I lack any talent, intrinsic or otherwise, when it comes to not only writing in English, but also importantly, reading material that is written in English.
The case in point is my inability to understand and appreciate some of the greatest literary works by some of the greatest writers which has led me to question whether my problem is that English is not my mother tongue.
But that is not a valid case because authors, whose native tongue is not English, have gone on to win awards in spite of English being their second language.
Not to mention that I am also haunted by my inability to understand and appreciate the genre of Magic Realism which countless numbers of people enjoy.
So I come to my confusion that still keeps me haunting after all these years of been away from writing: With special regard to the genre of Magic Realism, why do I understand the works of some authors and not others?
For example, why can I grasp and appreciate the writings of outright fantasy writers such as Peter Beagle and JRR Tolkien but not the writings of outright magic realism writers such as Haruki Murakami and Salman Rushdie?
Is it because I am unable to identify where Reality Ends and Magic Begins? And exactly why is it that I don't have any answer for this? Why is it that I can appreciate a novel only when the genre is clear-cut; for instance, outright fantasies such as JK Rowling's "Harry Potter" books and outright realistic stories like Sidney Sheldon's works?
Due to an endless fascination of English language, I have spent the better part of my adult life trying to understand exactly why I can understand and appreciate some books and not others.
I am now quite tired of this seemingly endless endeavor of struggling to find an answer for this, and last year, finally came to a decision that I would stop worrying about this, and instead focus myself on reading books that I can easily understand and appreciate.
I can say I am not a lazy reader because I do enjoy using my brain to figure out the plots of mystery thrillers.
Therefore, the thing is that now I don't want to waste my energy and time on "playing detective" in trying to understand why I have a "selective" understanding of English language and literature. Such a senseless effort feels like a complete waste of my short life, taking into account that there are more than enough material out there that I cannot hope to read in this lifetime.
Saturday, January 21, 2023
When I can't understand English language and literature
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Whenever I have issues getting into a book or literature, I always go back to basics. Children's literature. Books are easy and fun to read. After sometime a while it comes easy for me to read almost anything.
ReplyDeleteThanks. That's a new way and fresh perspective and innovative attitude of analysing my "problem". I will go back to reading some of the books in my "young adults" collection. Hope it works :)
DeleteNot being able to understand or appreciate a book is not entirely a question of competency in language. It's got more to do with personal preferences, likes, dislikes, prejudices etc. The famous case of Tolstoy calling Shakespeare 'a talentless playwright' who is only famous because of a group of malicious German intellectuals that coveted his work' proves this point. I personally can't really understand Shakespeare largely because I am simply not interested enough to go through the trouble of educating myself enough to understand his usage of archaic English language. That doesnt mean that I have a poor command of English language to understand a book like say, Life of Pi.
ReplyDeleteThanks. That's an interesting insight which curiously brings me to another personal problem that actually concerns the "issue" of me been unable to understand my own mother tongue, Dhivehi, with regard to certain works of Maldivian literature.
ReplyDeleteIn this instance, it involves the case of local short story writer Ibrahim Hussain Manik (who recently published 5 collections of his short stories) who uses so many Dhivehi words, both new and old I am told, which I have never heard of before, and therefore, forces me to keep the online Radheef dictionary open on my smartphone to refer to in order to make sense of his own unique way of using Dhivehi language.
Hence, also in line with your analysis, it ultimately makes me come to the conclusion that there are all sorts of writers everywhere, and that, to understand and appreciate their writings, l may need to specifically "educate" and "enlighten" myself in accordance with their particular style and employment of language if I am to understand and enjoy their works.
Therefore, I guess I don't need to be too worried and concerned about my inability to grasp certain works of literature, in the light of the fact that it is not a case of my failure to have a sound command of language, but that I need to familiarize with the various ways different authors use different styles of writing to communicate their thoughts to audiences.